In Summer of 2019 I took a trip to NYC with my dad. To look back feels somewhat painful, somewhat hopeful. The night before I left, I… Read more “Ny summer 2019 | Open the Door”
Last weekend I did a quick shoot with a new friend I made and his new line of shirts he came out with this past Friday. It’s… Read more “Moody Supply |Project 2”
At the end of the amazing day with Renaissance we met up with our new friend Anna (hi Anna, miss ya 🙂 and went through this weird lights exhibit which was SO COOL. Even though the lighting was unpredictable and difficult i ended up getting some cool shots. Hope you enjoy!
Follow Renaissance on Instagram at @renaissancemarie and on Twitter at @rxnaissance
Follow Anna on Instagram at @meanvagina (lol best username ever)
Visit the Robolights Facebook page HERE
On New Years Day my friends and I released a lip sync music video to Dua Lipa’s song New Rules.
Over the many years of our friendship its become one of our big traditions to make a music video to any song we’re all loving at the moment. This year Dua Lipa caught ALL of our attention being the amazing artist she is. Her entire album is unreal and beautiful, i highly recommend.
The more I think about it, i find it kind of hilarious that we do these videos. I mean every time we do them its like we’re little girls again in front of a crappy webcam blasting Hannah Montana and acting as sassy as we can. Now we’ve stepped it up a notch and got real serious about it haha. Maybe too serious? I did have several panic attacks in the process lol. This weird tradition tho is one of my favorites because it’s my best friend’s and I’s form of fun. I think its pretty special and awesome that our ultimate form of fun together is being creative and working on projects. Throughout the process we all try to input our own creativity through what we’re passionate about. Every time i always find that i push myself past my limits and strive to make the best end product possible. We are all super supportive of each other’s ideas, which is also unique in the field of group productions.
I hope you enjoy the video, as it really is the outpour of all of our souls haha.
Choreography, Staring, and Contributing Editors:
Videography, lighting, and Contributing editor:
Me (Bell) 🙂
We were two souls dipped in misfortune trying to speak in silence.
Crossed arms, sleepy hair, and heavy eyes made her face seem dim. All my feet wanted to do was run.
To get as far away from the spot I stood.
To never speak to another person again and hide away among the limp leaves and swaying ocean.
But for now a mask will have to do.
A mask not to cover up who I am, but who I am not.
shattered and scattered is a mind that rarely sees sunshine
Never go into any situation, or embark on any adventure, thinking you know what you’re doing. Scrap every piece of luggage you brought in preparation and approach the beast with a willingness to learn. Along the way you might be able use the tools you’ve gathered, but don’t be so stubborn that you’re unwilling to accept new ones.
It was a revelation that I had because I’ve – uhh – well I’ve been doing a lot of working out in the past year and a half and what I’ve learned is that if you’re doing an exercise to the point of failure, that means that you’re taking your body to the utmost limit. You’re getting the most out of your workout and I feel like you can apply that to a lot of things life. For instance if you’re like, writing a television show, or a movie let’s say. If you not sort of trying to be like, audaciously original in a way, saying “this could be laughably bad”, you’re never gonna create something amazing, and you’re never gonna go outside your safe zone. You know what I mean? So it’s sorta like you have to embrace the possibility of failure, you almost have to strive towards failure. You have to say “well, I’m probably not gonna be able to pull this off, but i’m gonna set the bar so high just to see how high I can jump.”
– Jack Ferry (Not Too Deep with Grace Helbig, Ep. 120)
It’s funny how you can have something and not realize it. How life can be falling apart, but you’re too busy collecting the pieces to see what’s throwing them at you.
January was a cold month. It was dark and nights were hardest. For the longest time I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think. Those were the days where i found myself crying when it didn’t make sense to cry. Sleeping when the sun was brightest and sad when the world told me to be happy. This was when i decided to dedicate myself to work, to deep dive into my brain and never surface again. My mind was my company, it was my best friend and greatest enemy. It told me that everything was okay as it lead me to a dark and quiet place within my skull. I had only seen this place once before, but time had past and a layer of dust blanketed every surface. I stayed there and never moved much.
Six months later I left that dark place. I saw light and people, color and interest. Hand in hand, my mind and i took it step by step. It had been so long I had forgotten how to carry myself. Back again in the dark, 5 months later, I see now that the world is very dull within this place. I can still smile, still breath, but everything feels dim and distant. My mind tugs constantly, beckoning me into a restless lull. In the nest where everything is heavy and unreachable.
Even when I do manage to walk out of this place I know that it’s still there. Something so dark and ugly exists within my brain and i can’t help but wonder if i have the strength to ever make it leave, or rather the strength to never return.