it’s funny how treasures come when you’re not looking for them. I suppose it’s a matter of recognizing them when they do come. They’re often blanked by… Read more “treasures come when you’re not looking for them.”
In years past i’ve always had a euphoric bliss after turning in my last test, thanking the professor, and leaving without ever looking back.
Something has changed this year and i fear to discover what.
I feel sad, to put it bluntly.
I drive through hazy dark swimming pools, contemplating hitting the nearest dark mess that comes my way.
I mumble as my parents ask how it was, for talking just seems too much of a chore.
All the colorful things that life has to offer look dull and uninteresting.
I haven’t showered in a week.
My outfit is 3 days old.
Every minute feels longer than the next, and yet time passing is the only thing i look forward to.
An unexpected minute of happiness, a face that melts my heart, and even another step towards death.
As i left the building my parents told me to wait somewhere safe,
so i did not.
I couldn’t find a reason anymore to fear being mugged or attacked, because what feeling could crush me more then the mountain already breaking my shoulders.
As i stood beneath the towering tree, its leaves dancing in the glow of the amber lamp light, my heart pounded in its cage.
The freedom i had been promised 6 months ago was nowhere to be seen.
Instead, fear never ceased stomping on the mass of flesh inside my chest, pumping sharp surges of blood and bruises through a withering body.
The yelling in my ear didn’t stop when i left the classroom, nor as i stood unguarded beneath the tree.
Even as I buried myself in blankets fear curled up next to me, ready to whisper lies when i was most ready to believe them.
I sit here now as blood drips down my neck, heavy limbs typing away as fear tells me what to say.
Things haven’t changed, a month into summer.
Fear tells me they never will.
A friend of mine asked not too long ago if i could take her senior photos, i said heck yes. I proceeded to buy my new camera… Read more “overcast”
This past weekend i decided to experiment with face paint. Now, typically the words “facepaint” bring to mind childhood memories of going to halloween festivals and seeing kid’s faces… Read more “Face Paint”
Oh my gosh i can’t believe it’s already halfway through April….. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh my gosh……… Well anyways another month means another playlist! As you know i do a… Read more “Music: April ’16”
Another video! Yayyyyyyy So this past Saturday was quite a blast. I spent the entire day painting my friend Emma’s room (it looks amazing), got messy, and had fun.… Read more “Paint.”
Music. Ah yes, music. I don’t think I could live without it. It carries me through the happy times, sad… Read more “Music: March ’16”
Recently I’ve gotten into making little videos expressing my thoughts about something. The one you’re about to see is pretty special to me. I titled it “The… Read more “The Home Project.”
Hello, my name is Bell. Welcome to my little blog thing that i’m deciding to start at 12:31 AM. I am deciding to start this blog… Read more “Welcome!”